


'Til Sunbeams Find You

by sayasamax3



Series: 2013 Drabble Give-Away [9]
Category: Ookiku Furikabutte | Big Windup!
Genre: Dreams, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-03
Updated: 2014-01-03
Packaged: 2018-01-07 06:30:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1116608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sayasamax3/pseuds/sayasamax3
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eventually, Abe admits they’re nightmares.</p>
            </blockquote>





	'Til Sunbeams Find You

**Author's Note:**

> Requested by Zeekubeast!

.1.

Abe dreams that he is something small and fragile.  He dreams he is small and fragile and held in Haruna’s hand, his grip too tight because he knows his own strength but not how to control it.  The sound of creaking glass fills Abe's head as the pressure increases and he can feel all the fine points of himself cracking. 

Inevitably, he breaks, not in a shower of tiny shards, but in large chunks that gleam ominously around sharp edges. 

And he’ll marvel, with a churning stomach, at how well trained he is, because when he jolts awake his first thought will be, ‘ _Did I hurt Haruna’s pitching hand?’_

.2.

There are other dreams too, blinding dreams of an all-white abyss where he can do nothing but stare at the number on Haruna’s back as he throws.  Over and over again, he pitches at the wide expanse of nothingness, every throw at full-strength.  Abe calls out, tells him to turn around, he’ll catch for Haruna, he won’t even complain if Haruna throws however he wants, what’s the point of pitching at nothing?  But his voice is eaten whole by the void, and he can’t step forward to make himself known.  So he shouts and he watches until he gives up.

That’s when Haruna stops, mid-windup, plants both feet on the ground, and walks away without ever looking back.

For days after this dream, Abe alternates between shouting at Haruna and trying not to reach out to him every time he walks away.

.3.

Eventually, Abe admits to himself that these are  _nightmares._   He doesn’t want Haruna to leave without ever acknowledging him.  He’s afraid that Haruna will break him without a care. 

But there are dreams that don’t quite  _fit_  the schema of a nightmare.  Scenes of sultry summer days, of sitting on the mound under a clear blue sky, watching beads of sweat form on Haruna’s temple and slip down his jaw, his necks, his collarbones.  Down, down, down, and Abe follows the whole way, until Haruna’s fingers catch his jaw and guide him up to kiss his lips, to lean back, to accept the dirt at his back and the boy above him.

In the dream he doesn’t resist. 

He doesn’t want to.  He doesn’t even try.

But in the light of day—the  _real_  light of day—he avoids Haruna’s touch, ducks away from the hand that tries to affectionately muss his hair, and changes in a bathroom stall because he can still feel every mark made on his skin in that dream, hot as a firebrand.

.4.

The worst is when they all happen together.  When Haruna’s hands are on him and pressing into his hard-earned bruises with callused fingertips. When Haruna’s lips are against his but Haruna sees right through him and never says a word.  Then without warning, without rhyme or reason he’ll be gone, and Abe will be left immobile in some god awful void until he wakes up and punches his pillow until the dream disappears from his body. 

.5.

“If you say another word, I’ll leave the mound  _now._ ”

Abe was wrong.

 _This_ was the worst.

He only wished it were a dream.


End file.
